Parenting Expectations Revisited

When I was pregnant, I decided to meet with a midwife and go to a birth center.

When Asa was little, I learned all about the “crunchy” parenting things people were doing these days.

Asa has a Baltic amber teething necklace. (And full disclosure: I’m not sure if it works. It SURELY doesn’t make him drool less, as some parents claim.) Now that I’m writing, I’m a bit at a loss for what other “crunchy” things we do for him.

Let’s revisit a few of the things I THOUGHT I was going to do but didn’t:

  1. Make my own baby food. Some people do it. I would have loved to! I just didn’t have the capacity, and that’s ok.
  2. Co-sleep. Asa slept with us when he was little and our house let in cold air through the windows. Once he got bigger, though, he moved around a LOT and took up most of our bed. We all slept better when he was in his own bed. We sleep BEST when he is in his own room. After about 7-8 months, Asa moved from our room to his own, and I am not a bit sad now. IMG_20180212_153015_600.jpg
  3. Let Asa self-wean and eat table food early on. Asa had a super sensitive gag reflex until he was 11 months old. He wasn’t even eating oatmeal and baby food on a regular basis until he was probably 8 or 9 months old.
  4. Never let Asa eat sweet things or processed foods. We don’t let Asa walk around with cookies or candy, but he loves tasting new things. Except ice cream. He doesn’t like ice cream, but I think that’s just because it is really cold. Asa’s food staples at the moment: fruit, yogurt, and bread.
  5. Avoid ANY screen time for the first 2 years. When the only way I can get Asa to stay still enough to clip his fingernails is to play a video clip, it is worth it. Otherwise, Asa has claws. It isn’t great for a young child’s brain development to watch a lot of television or stare at screens. We did pretty well avoiding screen time that first year, but when you occasionally go to restaurants with screens, you just let go. Also, at the end of a long day, we have let Asa watch a movie with us. Or part of one.

Parenting has been a number of lessons in letting go of expectations. Letting go of rules. Embracing the moment. Occasionally letting Asa throw his food on the floor while I try to load up the dishwasher. There’s a place for teaching and discipline, yes. But there’s also a place for letting go. Asa will remember the fun times he had when I was present way more than all the super crunchy things I did for him to live a hippy life.

Is there something you thought you would do when your first kid came along but didn’t do? Is there something you anticipate wanting to do but not actually doing it?